Today’s top five breathtaking thoughts:
- Is this gum in my hair?!
- The possibility of taking a music class and a scriptwriting class while maintaining satisfactory hours at The Rep, say it isn’t so.
- Fiber, I have to find fiber…
- Oh wow, they’re building a Beard Papa here?
- Oh man, I should blog today…or tomorrow…nah, I’ll do it today.
I’m so much better at talking out loud than blogging. Sometimes I’ll read through what I just wrote and I get this nagging suspicion that my grammar is incorrect and that somewhere out there is an agitated reader preparing a bush knife to gut me. Then I realize, I’m really writing all of this to get it out of my system. “Flush the brain bowels” as some would say (Actually I don’t know anyone who would say it but let’s just keep it at that). At times I really am typing what I am thinking about with any particular concern about structure.
About flushing things out of my system, I usually carry a piece of paper with me wherever I go and the other day as I was preparing my clothes for the wash, I found a piece of paper with nothing on it but the scribble of a word:
Well gee, that word isn’t even in the dictionary but it was all I could think of when I asked myself how I could have described my journey to realizing acting was my passion. Sure there were times when I was younger I’d put on dancing performances for strangers, or I’d dance during High School parties; not with girls but rather as a solo performer, or I’d ramble on about things that didn’t happen or exist (I guess that could be classified as lying or storytelling…), to even pretending I was being filmed while I sat in Sunday mass as an Altar Server.
There were definitely moments in time when the struggle to pursue what I wanted to be versus the person my parents wanted me to be was completely unbearable. It was during those times I knew I lost focus on who I was. It was during those times I felt like a blank slate destined to go on life doing just what is necessary to keep my physical being alive. But what about my emotional and mental state?
I’d watch movies and read wonderful books and I’d feel completely alive and inspired then FWA-BAM; I’m back in the fight to fulfill personal and social enrichment. The fight wages on but at the very least, both of those ideals (my passion and pleasing my parents & family) have decided to follow a similar path: To enrich my life, to enrich the lives of others and to put a smile on my face.