How to avoid digital lash backs

It’s happened to everyone at least once, some more than others. I’m talking about the moment when you’re in an elevated state of rage and the words out of your mouth are sharp enough to draw blood. You start to see red, and your hands shake uncontrollable; You might even have unpredictable bowel movement. The person or people responsible for enraging you are in sight and you’re ready to put them on blast, online –STOP.

Breath. And again. One more. Good.

Often we’re confronted with choices, some more clear than others with consequences that can lead to heartache, friendships dissolving, or worse, regrets. And who wants to live their life with regrets? I regard regrets as mental gouts. No one wants those (admittedly, I honestly feel some are just prone to them anyway).

With the rise of social media platforms like Twitter and Facebook, informing the World of your feelings using harsh and ambiguously pointed flaming has taken over actually resolving the issue with said person face to face. Here are a couple of ways to combat that digitally primal urge to come up on top of someone else.

Put the phone and/or keyboard away.

While I’m not a 100% behind the social discipline technique of TIME OUT, I think stepping back from a potentially volatile situation with another person is a fine way to avoid foot in mouth. It would seem that our sharpest retort and call back formulate at the peak of arguments but can we be so sure? Don’t be afraid to take a walk, enjoy some fresh air, and allow your brain to find clarity. Again, just physically distancing yourself from anything that would potentially leak your ramble of thoughts can be a tremendous help.

Is there a draft in here, or is it just me?

If you absolutely must write something –do it. But don’t publish it. Instead, save it as a draft and revisit it in a week. Do you still feel the same towards the person and event? No? Mission accomplished. I’ve employed this technique many times and find it incredibly effective. Why do I care less, now that a week has passed? Who knows but I find it a good fortune. But what if you do feel the same, you ask. Well, then I can’t stop you. Do what you must, be know that there will be consequences. Even broken dishes.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, tweet people the way you want to be tweeted. (The Digital Golden Rule) What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comment box below, or tweet me (nicely!) 

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Awkward-Reality says:

    You’re absolutely correct in that the “victims” of a cyber-bully will feel differently about the attack if they step away, breathe some fresh air, take a walk… realizing that their attacker(s) is an insecure troll who projects their own insecurities onto people they consider to be weak. Okay, I added the last line. But in my experience, it’s true. People who attack online rarely know their target(s). So, where does of their anger come from? It has nothing to do with the person(s) they’re attacking and the sooner we realize that the better off we will be.

    On the other hand, I do not feel the socially inept have a right to destroy anyone’s reputation. Be it online, school, the work place, etc… The feckless attempts to become popular through the entertainment of damaging, and libeling commentary is nothing short of criminal. I have personally been dealing with online harassment, and cyber-stalking for more than a year now, And in my experience with these – ADULT 50-ish year old WOMEN – nothing short of their Internet being disconnected will stop them. Not ignoring, not walking away, not threatening legal action. Mind you, these women stalked me so they have my personal information. I considered legal action after my real name was posted online and tagged with horrible, false accusations. Can you imagine having some bored crazy person from the Internet wreaking havoc in your personal life? How about 5 or 6 bored people? eek! Anyways, as of right now I have abandoned most of my online accounts. Trust me when I say ignoring doesn’t always work. I would almost guarantee they’re still talking about me.
    Kreenpananas- In most cases of online harassment your blog-advice is spot on. Walking away will change your perspective if not the opinion of your harassers’. The last thing we want to do in these cases is become volatile and give credence to the bullies gossip.
    Thanks. I enjoyed reading…

    1. Thank you for taking the time to read and reblog my post. I agree with what you said about those bully’s who project their own insecurities onto others. The realities of your situation (elderly WOMEN cyber-stalking you) is a major stress. I hope things have gotten better! Glad we could step up.

  2. Awkward-Reality says:

    Reblogged this on Awkward-Reality.

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